I woke up again at around 8 AM, got up very quickly, took a shower, had my breakfast, prayed in the chapel, and went down to see Marlene. I spent an hour in her office. I had no idea of sharing anything with her actually, but she did asked me what brought me here and what am I expecting from this retreat. I told her that my first idea was only to have something different for this year’s birthday. The idea was became wider as I am also searching for God’s will for me. “I wish God would speak to me, in any ways, in anything... ” that’s what I told Marlene what I am expecting for. She listened to me very carefully, gave me some information about praying methods, and finally she read me a beautiful passage from John 4: 1-42 about The Living Water, a story of Jesus and the Samaritan Woman. She asked me to imagine the situation while she was reading the scriptures, I’m not that imaginary person actually, but I was trying hard and Marlene said that it was good as a beginner. :)
I must say that I felt a bit empty and dry this morning. I met Marlene with flat flat feelings. But soon after she began talking and sharing, I felt passion emerging from my heart. I began asking on how she prays, and after that words just came out from my mouth like water. She also suggested me to walk around in the neighborhood - Yarra Bend garden and Yarra river. I love walking in the gardens. “There’s one lovely coffeeshop next to the river,” she said. How can she know that I lurve coffeeshop?
So instead of going to the gardens or coffeeshop, I went to Carmelite Monastery. This monastery is only 10 minutes away from Campion, but it was a bit challenging walking there.
First was the weather, it was so cold and windy, and somehow I just couldn’t walk fast in this cold winter season. I love walking so much, and living in Singapore forces me to walk and walk. But Singapore is different from Melbourne, the structure of the roads in Singapore is just easy for me to walk a kilometer without being tired or losing my breath. But in Melbourne (...sigh), the roads are unbelievably sloping. There are some roads in the CBD like Bourke St or Elizabeth St. which are quite ok to walk but most of them are steeping ups and downs. So the second problem was the contour of the road.
I arrived in the Monastery for a midday Saturday mass at 11.30 AM. I met this wonderful nun who showed me the way to the church.
As I entered the big steel church door and drew my hand to the holy water to make a cross sign, I was amazed by the interior of the church. I had never been into such a beautiful church like this one. It felt like I was in somewhere else, not in Kew nor in Melbourne, I was feeling that I must be daydreaming and flew to Italy or France and sitting in their historical church. But no, I’m in here in Kew. This Carmelite Monastery’s church isn’t big, but it’s so lovely and warm. The walls are covered with paintings of Jesus, Mary and the angels. The seatings are single chairs made from old wood which become very noisy when someone sits on it. They also have the candle section next to the figurine of the sacred body of St. Bernadette. The Altar is incredibly amazing, on the left is the place for choir which all the Carmelites nuns are singing amazingly beautiful and clear. Their voice are absolutely wonderful.
I was thinking to take a picture or two but I was afraid that this church is a sacred place and no cameras are allowed. So I'll be just keeping the pictures in my mind...
The church wasn’t that full, allowing people to have spaces on their seats. I noticed this man who wears a medium loop silver ring on his left ear, his style was like an Italian mafia on the movies; wearing leather jacket, jeans, and boots; and his earring is a plus. He can be a mafia or anything, but he was crying all over the mass! Yes he was, I can tell from his sobbing and blobbing red-eye of him. Nobody cared though. People were busy with their own prayers (and problems). That’s what I like of going to church outside Indonesia; people respects to one another, nobody would care if you are crying or sobbing in the mass (as long as you don’t do it in extremely annoying to others), and you will be given space for you and God to communicate. I love staying longer to pray after mass which I can’t do it in Indonesia otherwise people will start to think what kind of sins you have made so you have to pray longer in church. Haha.
This mass had finished in 45 minutes and I walked back to Campion for lunch.
After lunch I decided to walk to the Yarra Bend garden nearby, I was planning to walk to the river as well but a bit afraid of getting lost so I just sit in the gardens for a while and back again to Campion. I entered my room with mixed feelings. I wanted to pray but felt empty. I wanted to read the scriptures but felt no energy for it. So I took one book from the shelf and flipped over it until I stopped on the page that caught my eyes. It was about the Our Father prayer, the one that Jesus taught us to pray. Praying or singing the Our Father is one of my favourite part in the Eucharist.
Our Father is the most powerful prayer of all times; it consists of seven petitions follow in short rhythmic phrases:
Hallowed be Your Name
Your Kingdom come
Your Will be done, on earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our debts
As we also have forgiven our debtors
And do not bring us to the time of trial
But rescue us from the evil one
The first three are of God: Your Name, Your Kingdom, and Your Will. The second four are of us: Feed Us, Forgive Us, Lead Us, and Deliver Us. The first set fills us with faith, hope and love. The second set seeks nourishment, forgiveness and deliverance from evil. Together the seven petitions are a model of our relationship with God. We conclude the prayer with Amen.
This great book which had opened my mind and heart for a simple Our Father prayer, The Gospels for Prayer - is composed by Michael Hansen, S.J., who also a spiritual director, retreat leader and author of other religious books.
When the dinner time came, I was surprised that Campion team had prepared a birthday cake for me. It was a small creamy tart with my name’s written on the serviette, and it was the most wonderful birthday tart ever. All the retreatants were singing ‘happy birthday’ to me and I just couldn’t help but tearing in my eyes. I might be away from family and friends but I know God is always so close that He celebrated my birthday in this place. I had never felt so full with God’s love before and I know that I’m coming to the right place and in the right time.
My firm intention of being in this retreat was to seek God’s will for me. Some said that God’s will for us is hidden deep inside our heart and by the time we know ourselves more we should know what God wants from us. I can’t deny that, and I do believe on those sayings but I need a help to find myself, that is, God’s will for me.
And I know this retreat is the help for me.
A well adjusted woman is one who not only knows what she wants for her birthday, but even knows what she’s going to exchange for it.
~ Anynomous
(As for the seven-day rosary, the mysteries for tonight are about the Teaching from Good News, Be Faithful and Trust in the Lord, Children of God, Lazarus is brought to life, and Jesus the Way to the Father)
~~~***~~~
Review of the day:
“God enters by private door to every individual”
~Ralph Waldo
Each of us is born as a unique. Nobody does exactly the same, even twins. So do what you want to do, as long as it is in the right way according to God. Don’t imitate other people, don’t try to do something just to please others, and don’t judge others just because they are doing something that you might think is useless or nothing. Do what you are passionate about, for passion is worth 80% of your success and the other 20% is the potential. Passion + Potential = Purpose.*
* Quoted from Bo Sanchez’ Seminar.
I hope I can find my purpose for this life
Readings of the day:
o Psalms 23:6. I know that your goodness and love will be with me all my life; and your house will be my home as long as I live.
o Matthew 6:25. “This is why I tell you: do not be worried about the food and drink you need in order to stay alive, or about clothes for your body. After all, isn’t life worth more than food? And isn’t the body worth more than clothes?”
o Matthew 7:7-8. Ask, and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”
o John 4:1-42. Jesus and the Samaritan Woman.
Sources:
o Good News Bible with Deuterocanonicals, Today’s English Version. Philippine Bible Society, Manila, 1992.
o Hansen, Michael, S.J. The Gospels for Prayer. Ave Maria Press, Inc., United States of America, 2003.
o Lelen, J. M., Rev., Ph.D. Pray The Rosary. Catholic Book Publishing Corp, New Jersey, 2002.
o London, Larry. Doa Rosario Tujuh Hari, Berdasarkan Kitab Suci (Edisi Bahasa Indonesia). Penerbit OBOR, Jakarta, 2003.
